Friendship

Some people are blessed with a number of true sincere friends, while others face deceit and betrayal from their so called 'friends'. Yet others for various reasons keep away from friendships, either because they have been burnt by these friendships or because they have not really invested in nurturing true friends. Some people can attract friends easily, wherever they go, while others find themselves lonely even in a crowd. Also introverts can be overwhelmed by people, including friends, and might need more time alone before they are ready for another interaction.

My personal experience with friendships has been its fragility. I have found that a word, gesture, glance, a facial expression, or an act can mar even an intimate friendship, just as a single crack in a beautiful vase cannot be fully restored. Also, the more sensitive one is the more difficult it becomes to maintain the same level of comfort and intimacy that once existed in the relationship. Also, friends can grow apart as life takes them in different directions, moulding their personalities and conscience in different ways.

Friendships need care and nurturing. Investing time and resources for friendships can reap rich rewards in the form of better physical and mental health and overall sense of happiness and well-being.

Friendships involve mutual caring, intimacy, and shared activity (Helm&Bennet, 2023). This means that for a friendship to be deep there should be a concern for the well-being of each other. Also, they should trust each other enough to share intimate details of their lives. Spending time together is also an important part of successful friendships.

Studies indicate that friendships can both positively and negatively impact health and well-being of individuals (Peiqi et al, 2021). The companionship and support that friendships offer can mitigate loneliness and increase the sense of well-being and self-esteem. On the other hand, certain friendships can also increase tendencies for substance abuse, obesity, and depression.

 Paramhansa Yogananda on Friendship

 Paramhansa Yogananda says this about friendship:

Definition of True Friendship: Friendship is regarded as G inclusive bond that unites souls and reflects the unity of Spirit.

 Expanding the Realm of Love: True friendship is not limited to selfish attachment to a single person but extends to encompass all beings. Being a cosmic friend involves spreading kindness and affection to all of God's creation.

Manifesting Friendliness: To attract friends, one must embody friendliness. Opening oneself to friendship attracts like-minded souls, expanding the circle of genuine friends.

Unfailing Laws of Friendship: Respect, love, and mutual service deepen friendship. Jesus and other great masters are examples of unparalleled service to humanity.

The Purpose of Friendship: When two souls seek spiritual growth together and wish to serve each other, their friendship leads to spiritual growth and ultimately leads them to the ultimate Friend (God).

Universal Love: The soul transcends man-made boundaries and nationalities. We must include all living beings in our circle of love.

Love for Enemies: Conquer their hatred with love, contributing to healing and unity. This is the best way to get rid of enemies, by loving them.

The Social Way to Omnipresence: By expanding our love for all beings as part of the self, we can move towards cosmic consciousness.

 Wisdom in Friendship: True friendship involves mutual spiritual understanding, and serving God together.

 The Divine Purpose of Friendship: Friendship is a universal spiritual force aiming to unite the many back into the One.

 Paramhansa Yogananda asks us to embrace a broader, more inclusive form of love in friendships, that transcends personal boundaries and leads to spiritual growth, unity, and oneness with the Cosmic Conscience.

 Swami Kriyananda on challenges in Friendships

Why are some people challenged in friendships?  Swami Kriyananda, in his book, "In Divine Friendship", emphasizes the need for introspection and personal change to attract the love one desires.

 Swami Kriyananda asks one to introspect when we feel abandoned or unloved by others.   One needs to understand what withing oneself is manifesting this feeling.  He asks us to not only feel love for others inwardly but also love outwardly, serving others, and giving happiness to others. These are keys to receiving love.  We need to focus more on the needs of others to experience greater happiness.

We also need to show love freely without the fear of rejection. The love we express should be impersonal and should be a divine friendship, seeing the God in others. Friendship also means understanding other people's realities and perspectives and not imposing our opinions on them.

Swami Kriyananda proposes personal introspection and change to attract true and deep friendships. He also emphasized kindness. He is known to say, “All I ask is that you be kind to one another.”

Conclusion

Let us conclude with these inspiring words of Paramhansa Yogananda:

“True friendship lies in seeking soul progress together, culminating in perfect divine friendship. Perfect friendship between two individuals, or among the members of a spiritual group, becomes an open door of unity through which other souls can enter and evolve toward perfection.

 When the canopy of your perfected friendship includes all souls and all creation—the busy stars, the whippoorwill, the nightingale, the amoeba, the dumb stones, the shining sea sands—you will lift the veils that hide God from your sight.

The Divine Friend will then rejoice to welcome you home after the wanderings of countless incarnations, and you and He and will merge in the bliss of eternal friendship.”

 

References:

 

Helm, Bennett, "Friendship", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2023 Edition), Edward N. Zalta & Uri Nodelman (eds.), URL = <https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2023/entries/friendship/>.

 

Lu Peiqi, Oh Jeewon, Leahy Katelin E., Chopik William J., “Friendship Importance Around the World: Links to Cultural Factors, Health, and Well-Being,” Frontiers in Psychology, Vol II, 2021   URL=https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.570839     DOI=10.3389/fpsyg.2020.570839    ISSN=1664-1078