Friendship

Some people are blessed with a number of true sincere friends, while others face deceit and betrayal from their so called 'friends'. Yet others for various reasons keep away from friendships, either because they have been burnt by these friendships or because they have not really invested in nurturing true friends. Some people can attract friends easily, wherever they go, while others find themselves lonely even in a crowd. Also introverts can be overwhelmed by people, including friends, and might need more time alone before they are ready for another interaction.

My personal experience with friendships has been its fragility. I have found that a word, gesture, glance, a facial expression, or an act can mar even an intimate friendship, just as a single crack in a beautiful vase cannot be fully restored. Also, the more sensitive one is the more difficult it becomes to maintain the same level of comfort and intimacy that once existed in the relationship. Also, friends can grow apart as life takes them in different directions, moulding their personalities and conscience in different ways.

Friendships need care and nurturing. Investing time and resources for friendships can reap rich rewards in the form of better physical and mental health and overall sense of happiness and well-being.

Friendships involve mutual caring, intimacy, and shared activity (Helm&Bennet, 2023). This means that for a friendship to be deep there should be a concern for the well-being of each other. Also, they should trust each other enough to share intimate details of their lives. Spending time together is also an important part of successful friendships.

Studies indicate that friendships can both positively and negatively impact health and well-being of individuals (Peiqi et al, 2021). The companionship and support that friendships offer can mitigate loneliness and increase the sense of well-being and self-esteem. On the other hand, certain friendships can also increase tendencies for substance abuse, obesity, and depression.

 Paramhansa Yogananda on Friendship

 Paramhansa Yogananda says this about friendship:

Definition of True Friendship: Friendship is regarded as G inclusive bond that unites souls and reflects the unity of Spirit.

 Expanding the Realm of Love: True friendship is not limited to selfish attachment to a single person but extends to encompass all beings. Being a cosmic friend involves spreading kindness and affection to all of God's creation.

Manifesting Friendliness: To attract friends, one must embody friendliness. Opening oneself to friendship attracts like-minded souls, expanding the circle of genuine friends.

Unfailing Laws of Friendship: Respect, love, and mutual service deepen friendship. Jesus and other great masters are examples of unparalleled service to humanity.

The Purpose of Friendship: When two souls seek spiritual growth together and wish to serve each other, their friendship leads to spiritual growth and ultimately leads them to the ultimate Friend (God).

Universal Love: The soul transcends man-made boundaries and nationalities. We must include all living beings in our circle of love.

Love for Enemies: Conquer their hatred with love, contributing to healing and unity. This is the best way to get rid of enemies, by loving them.

The Social Way to Omnipresence: By expanding our love for all beings as part of the self, we can move towards cosmic consciousness.

 Wisdom in Friendship: True friendship involves mutual spiritual understanding, and serving God together.

 The Divine Purpose of Friendship: Friendship is a universal spiritual force aiming to unite the many back into the One.

 Paramhansa Yogananda asks us to embrace a broader, more inclusive form of love in friendships, that transcends personal boundaries and leads to spiritual growth, unity, and oneness with the Cosmic Conscience.

 Swami Kriyananda on challenges in Friendships

Why are some people challenged in friendships?  Swami Kriyananda, in his book, "In Divine Friendship", emphasizes the need for introspection and personal change to attract the love one desires.

 Swami Kriyananda asks one to introspect when we feel abandoned or unloved by others.   One needs to understand what withing oneself is manifesting this feeling.  He asks us to not only feel love for others inwardly but also love outwardly, serving others, and giving happiness to others. These are keys to receiving love.  We need to focus more on the needs of others to experience greater happiness.

We also need to show love freely without the fear of rejection. The love we express should be impersonal and should be a divine friendship, seeing the God in others. Friendship also means understanding other people's realities and perspectives and not imposing our opinions on them.

Swami Kriyananda proposes personal introspection and change to attract true and deep friendships. He also emphasized kindness. He is known to say, “All I ask is that you be kind to one another.”

Conclusion

Let us conclude with these inspiring words of Paramhansa Yogananda:

“True friendship lies in seeking soul progress together, culminating in perfect divine friendship. Perfect friendship between two individuals, or among the members of a spiritual group, becomes an open door of unity through which other souls can enter and evolve toward perfection.

 When the canopy of your perfected friendship includes all souls and all creation—the busy stars, the whippoorwill, the nightingale, the amoeba, the dumb stones, the shining sea sands—you will lift the veils that hide God from your sight.

The Divine Friend will then rejoice to welcome you home after the wanderings of countless incarnations, and you and He and will merge in the bliss of eternal friendship.”

 

References:

 

Helm, Bennett, "Friendship", The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Fall 2023 Edition), Edward N. Zalta & Uri Nodelman (eds.), URL = <https://plato.stanford.edu/archives/fall2023/entries/friendship/>.

 

Lu Peiqi, Oh Jeewon, Leahy Katelin E., Chopik William J., “Friendship Importance Around the World: Links to Cultural Factors, Health, and Well-Being,” Frontiers in Psychology, Vol II, 2021   URL=https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.570839     DOI=10.3389/fpsyg.2020.570839    ISSN=1664-1078   

Chandigarh Kinnaur Kufri

We had planned the 50 plus voyagers trip for 5 of us. Ravi, I, Moorthy athan, Viji and her husband Arul Annan. We had seen the reviews of 50plus voyagers on Facebook and were impressed. We thought it might be a good idea to go on a tour which is curated and managed by a tour operator.

We started on September 26 from Chennai by indigo and reached Chandigarh at 2 pm. We stayed at the Velvet Clarke Exotica. It was a beautiful hotel with spacious rooms and lobby. We were greeted by our Tour Manager Gaurish. Since we had time we decide to do a bit of sight seeing of Chandigarh. The Rock Garden is very famous in Chandigarh. So we decided to go there. 

The Rock Garden of Chandigarh is a sculpture garden for rock enthusiasts in Chandigarh, India. It is also known as Nek Chand Saini's Rock Garden of Nathupur after its founder Nek Chand Saini, a government official who started building the garden secretly in his spare time in 1957. It is spread over an area of 40 acres  and is completely built from industrial, home waste, and discarded items.

I found the Rock Garden quite unique. Very interesting, a bit weird but very interesting and quite extravagant. The figures and structures are completely made of waste material such as crockery, tiles, bangles, electrical items, and such.

We came back to the hotel and had a get together with Gaurish and the tour group. We were 15 people. There was one person from Chennai Bhaskar Ganesan. There were two couples. There was a ex  diplomat, environmental journalist, business men, home makers, ex government employees and so on. 

We introduced ourselves and we were briefed about the next day 

I came to know about a new phenomenon called altitude sickness. Diomox is the tablet to be taken two days before you climb higher altitudes.

Gaurish said that we will be reaching higher altitudes gradually so we should be acclimated by the time we reach. But people who wanted they could take this tablet.

We then had a sumptuous dinner and then went to bed.

September 27

We started from Chandigarh in the morning. We lunched at Kandaghat. We also visited the Kalikatippa kalidevi mandir. This is a beautiful temple with a panaronic view of the mountains. The Himalayan range that we  viewed were the Shivalik mountains. We passed through Chail village, Koti. We then reached Kufri at about 5 pm. Shortly later we reached the Snow king retreat hotel at Fagu top which is at 9000 feet. Fagu top is at a higher altitude than Kufri.

The temperature was around 14 degrees at Fagu top. We had a guide Sunil who told us about the area.Deshu temple fagu can be reached from our retreat by walking up 300 steps. Sunil told us that Narkanda hattu peak has temples too that we did not visit. 

Sunil told us that in December fagu peak is covered with 4 feet snow. 

Sunil the guide also told us that the royal gala apples were stored, sorted and exported in this region. Also we saw the potato research place. The potatoes cultivated here are of superior quality and  are also fully exported 

We came back for games. We played a game where we say...I went to Kinnaur with...names of people starting with A.....next person has to add the next alphabet,  and mentioning all the names from A, B, C and so on..... it was a lot of fun...People who did not remember  could pass and they were out.

After dinner we took one more round around the pond. Viji got a stomach upset. She took zinetac, ors. She had a migraine in the morning. It could be just a stomach upset or mountain sickness. She also took diamox for mountain sickness 

September 28

Morning at 6.30 am we climbed the 300 steps to the Deshu Kali temple. We had a fantastic view of the several layers of mountains with the snow clad peaks in the distance. There was the shivling and Kali mata. Many people come here  asking for mannath. We were told that there was a lady who had prayed for a baby. She said she will come back with her baby before the baby turns one month. When the baby was born there was several feet of snow. To fulfill her mannath special arrangements were made and she did bring her baby to the temple inspite of the heavy snow.

After breakfast we proceeded to Narkanda and then Sarahan. We stopped on the way at the Rajiv Gandhi High altitude training center at Shilaroo. Here sportspersons undergo training for playing sports at high altitudes where the air is rarer.

We stopped at hotel Hatu for tea. We saw wedding preparations going on at the hotel.

We then proceeded to Rampur and visited the grounds of the palace. (Padam Palance does not allow tourists to enter inside). We had lunch at Rampur which was not very good. The Bushahr regency Rampur. We then proceeded to Sarahan

The roads to Rampur and Sarahan were very bad. Due to heavy rains there were land slides and whole parts of the roads were broken. The ride was bumpy, risky and precarious. It was very tiring. There were 

We reached the hptdc hotel at sarahan at about 5 pm.  We started to the temple after a short rest. The Bhima kali temple is one of the 51 shathi peeths. Its believed that Mother's ear fell here. We reached the temple at about 6 pm. We cannot carry any leather items or mobile inside. We were also asked to cover our heads. We had a good darshan and also stayed for the arti...There were drums and cymbals and chanting. We also received Prasad that was like sakarai Pongal. There were no demands for money like you find in other places. 

On the way back one of our group voyagers Mr Bhaskar entertained us with karnatic songs. Viji and I made some purchases. The men in this region wear wollen caps and the women wear scarves. Viji bought both and I bought some scarves.

 We found our group leader Gaurish at a shop selling Sathu and momos. Sathu is a dish unique to this region. It is made out of maida that has been fermented with yeast. The dough is made into a thick Paratha and filled with potatoes. Desi ghee is poured over the hot Sathu. Its eaten with green chutney. It was very delicious. We had sathu and momos and proceeded to the hotel. We woke up to a stunning view from our bedrooms of the Shri Khand Mahadev mountain and the beautiful Shiva linga that we could see at a distance. Apparently this is a 8 day Trek from Sarahan.

September 29

After breakfast we started to the kinner camp. 

We entered a tunnel that led us to the Kinnaur district.  We had some fun pictures taken here. The trees were heavy with apples

One of our group mates had a bit of a health set back so we halted for medical treatment on the way. We drove through picturesque winding roads along the Sutlej river. This is a Indo Tibetan road. We saw the JSW mega power plant on the way. We went through Wangtu, Tapri, Chooling and Karcham. We were joined now by the Bapsa river.  We reached sangla and crossed sangla village to reach the kinner camp at Sangla.

This camp is owned by Dilip Negi. He is a sprightly man, 48 years old. He hails from the Batseri village nearby. After a delicious vegetarian lunch with home grown spinach and mixed vegetables, kichadi, roti...we then walked with Negi to his Batseri village. He took us through orchards of apple trees laden with apples. There were trees with both yellow and red fruits in the same tree. Apparently it helps the tree bear more fruits to have a grafted branch of the yellow apples. The Batseri village does not allow vehicles inside. There are about 200 families, 160 are Rajput families. They make peach and apricot alcohol apart from vegetable and fruit cultivation.  They also rear goats and sheep at the village. We passed orchards of apple trees and a few apricot trees. We also saw rajma, cauliflower and cabbage cultivations. They also have a Narayan temple in the village. We were not allowed to go in but could pray from outside. The deities were Badri Narayan, Tapo Narayan and Vishnu Narayan.

The climb to the village was steep. We were picked up on the way back by car.

The whole group again gathered for wine and local apricot and peach alcohol. There were gazals, songs sung, poem narrated. Altogether it was many hours of laughter and fun. Moorthy athan was in his element....

We had one more more day the next day, in the Swiss tents. 

September 30

We started in the morning to chitkul village from the Kinner camp.  This is the last village before the Tibet border. 

We stopped on the way to see the Kinnaur Kailash mountain . The peak of Kinnaur kailash is at a height of 7000 feet.

We took photos at the chitkul board at 11300 feet height. We entered the Kinnaur desert terrain with less vegetation. We proceeded to chitkul village, the last village of India. We walked through the village. We saw wooden store houses for grains, houses and a school. We then went to the last military checkpost on the Indo Tibetan road and met the jawans there. We then went to the baspa river bed. It was raining and was cold and chilly there. We returned to kinner camp for lunch. We had a bonfire at night and enjoyed hot pakodas. There was apricot tarrra . We danced around the bonfire to Bollywood songs. We learnt garba and himachali dance. 

Temperatures dropped to 1 degree in the night. We were saved by the hot water bottles.

October 1

We packed our bags and bid farewell to Dilip Negi and the kinner camp. It was a lovely two days stay.

We started to kalpa. We stopped on the way to view the cusp of baspa and Sutlej river. 

Himachal produces more electricity than any other state in India. It has numerous hydel projects. We took photos at Karcham dam.

We stopped at a place from where we had a view of the other side of the Kinnaur kailash lingam. It is known to change color from white to red and brown. 

We then went to Reckong Peo for shopping. I bought some sweaters and a salwar.

Each district in HP has a specific color. The Kinnaur color cap is green. Kinnaur caps are rs 300 to 400. They are made of wool.  The other red caps are  from rs 100 onwards.

It was a Sunday and most shops were closed. Few shops were open. 

This place is known for its rajma and a few bought it. The rajma here is known to cook and melt in with the curry.

On the way to kalpa we stopped at the temple of the local deity of a place called Koti. Its called Chandika devi. There is a belief that there was battle here with asuras and the Devi won. The temple therefore apart from the devi sannadi, had a section for the one asura who helped the Devi  in the battle to destroy the asuras 

Polyandry used to be practiced earlier in this region, like the Pandavas.

We went to Vishnu Narayan and nagin temple from where we saw the view of the Hills.

We then visited a Narayana temple that was closed. We could enter the compound but the doors to dieties was closed . There were beautiful wooden carvings of Vishnu, Lakshmi, Saraswati, Shiva, narasimhar, Ganesha..

Raldang, jorka dang, kinner kailash and shivling of kinner kailash. This is the order of the mountains we could view from this location. 

We stayed the night at the Kinner Villa hotel 

October 2

We were able to pluck some red apples from the Kinner villa hotel trees.

We started from the hotel at about 8.15 am 

Kinner is a generic name for demi god

Today is a long journey of about 9 hours to Kufri.

We stopped at a place and bought yellow and red apples for RS 50 and  100 per kg.

The journey to Fagu top was quite tiring and we reached there at about 7 pm after stopping for tea at Hatu, the same place we had stopped on the way onward. 

In the evening there was a drinks party and awards were announced.

Bhaskar won the prize for the most colorful voyager. Moorthy athan for the naughty voyager, Viji for creative photographer, Gautam for singing, me for best student, Gopi warrier for best teacher....and Gaurish for dancer. 

Moorthy athan then sang the lyrics of a poem.  'Don't let the old man in' of Clint Eastwood. It was a fun evening. 

Morning the next day at about 7 am we climbed the 300 steps to the kali temple. Luckily there was a priest who gave us prasad of dried raisins. We also got prasad of puffed rice and dried coconut.We got good darshan of Maa Kali and  Shiva.  

We bought woollens at a place called chirapada near Fagu top. I bought some salwar material and shawls. The shawls were only rs 250 each.

We then stopped for a good  lunch at Falcon crest.

We then proceeded to Chandigarh. The mountains turned into the Shivalika that were gentler.

A few of us decided to go shopping in the Shastri market at Chandigarh. It turned out to be a good idea. I bought chappals, pants, a top and some hair bands. We then had chaat at Garg chat bhandar. We had malai chaap, panipuri, bhel and dahi chaat.

Feeling very satisfied after our shopping spree we went back to the hotel only to be faced with a new challenge. How do we pack all our stuff into our suitcases without exceeding our limit of how much we can carry. We were grateful for Moorthy athan's weighing machine. After a lot of juggling we were able to get our bags within the weight limits.

We flew back to Chennai after a successful voyage with fellow 50 plus voyagers.

I am very thankful to Gaurish and all my fellow travellers: Gautam and Shwetha, Gopi and Raji, Bhaskar, Sudha, Hetal, Prema, Hetal, Prabas, Moorthy athan, Viji, Arul Annan and my husband Ravi; for making this a memorable trip with many cherished moments.

In the last 9 days, we travelled like a family to some of the most beautiful and serene places in Himachal's Kinnaur-Kalpa region. 

We witnessed the spectacle of the mighty Kinnaur Kailash mountains, marvelled at the beauty of Chitkul and Batseri villages at Indo-Tibetan border and drove along the Sutlej and Baspa river valleys. 

From walking through quaint villages, driving through narrow and steep roads along with winding rovers to some of the high mountain locales, spending time by the river and with umpteen and more photo sessions by talented photographers it was quite an adventurous voyage in the Kinnaur Kalpa tour. 

Here is the link to the photo album: https://photos.app.goo.gl/MpF46z9fWcifmEAz6

Here is the itinerary for all the days of our tour.  

September 27:

8:45 - 9:00 AM : Proceed to Shimla- Fagu ( 130 KM/ 5.5 Hours)

Appx 3:30 PM: Arrive at Snow King Retreat Hotel at Fagu Top (7800 ft height)

September 27:

We are starting our journey into Mesmerizing Kinnaur region of Himachal.

8:45 - 9:00 AM : Proceed to Shimla- Fagu ( 130 KM/ 5.5 Hours)

Appx 3:30 PM: Arrive at Snow King Retreat Hotel at Fagu Top (7800 ft height)

September 28:

Proceed to Rampur, last capital of the Bushahr dynasty ( 110 KM/ 3.5 Hours).

Visit Padam Palace and enjoy lunch at Rampur.(Padam Palance do not allow tourists to enter inside it)

Proceed to Sarahan.

Appx 3:30 PM: Arrive at Himachal Tourism Hotel at Sarahan.

5:00 PM: Visit Temple of Goddess Bhimakali, one of 51 Shaktipeeth and the presiding deity of the rulers of the former Bushahr State. Attend Sandhya Arti appx 6:30 PM.

September 29:

 We shall drive along the Sutlej river on Indo Tibetan Road to Sangla Valley ! We shall travel via small settlements of Wangtu -> Tapri -> Chooling -> Karcham where Bapsa river will join us.

Proceed to Sangla ( 90KM/ 4 Hours).

1:00 - 2:00 PM : Arrive at Kinnaur Camps at Sangla and enjoy lunch. ( 8500 - 9000 ft height)

3:00 PM: Visit Batseri village.

September 30:

Step into the last motorable village Chitkul on the Indo-Tibetan Route.

9:00 - 11:00 AM: Drive to Rukcham and Chitkul - 25 KM/ 1.5 hour ( 11400 Ft)

October 1:

In the morning look out from the window of your room, for mesmerizing sunrise view on the Kinnaur Kailash - The abode of Lords Shiva.

8:00 AM Onwards: Proceed to Kalpa ( 50 KM/ 1.5 Hour)

10:30 - 4:00 PM: Local sightseeing at Kalpa - Visit monastary Rekong Peo, Narayan Nagni Temple.

October 2:

ts time to say goodbye to the Land of Kinnaris. We shall drive back following Satluj river to Narkanda.

8:00 - 8:30 Proceed back to kufri.

October 3:

09:45 - 10 am: Proceed to Chandigarh.

Bid good bye to everyone.

Mutton Chops

 This is a recipe from my in laws family. I used to see my in laws make this many times and it was one of their signature dishes, apart from chicken soup kolumbu, and attu kal paaya. 

Mutton chops is a green colored mutton dish made with regular mutton pieces.

Here is the recipe:

Ingredients:

Mutton with bones  Half kg

Onions : 300 g

Green chillies 4 or more as per taste

Pepper corns 1 - 4 tsp as per taste

Saunf  2.5 tsp

Jeera 1.5 tsp

Ginger garlic paste

Curry leaves

Cashews

Oil 4 tbsp

Coriander leaves

Directions:

Grind together the green chillies, pepper, saunf, jeera and ginger garlic to a course paste

Chop onions finely. Mix mutton, chopped onions, curry leaves and the ground masala. Add half cup water. Pressure cook for 15 minutes or until the mutton is tender.

Take a hard bottomed pan. Heat the oil and fry some curry leaves and cashews until cashews are slightly brown. Add the cooked mutton mixture and simmer until the gravy thickens. 

Garnish with chopped coriander leaves.

Notes:

If the cooked mutton is watery simmer in the cooker until it is somewhat dry. Then add to the pan as mentioned above.

My in laws added some ghee or butter to thicken the gravy. This can also be done.

The cashews give a crunch and it is an addition suggested by my sister in law Viji.

Touch of divine wisdom

 https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/proxy/AVvXsEhnG6e9aQMbnUY0fgBaeBP3N_CGKNwPg8Bybyi_V3BuULdvYLjeivwGymEgBQhh0PfIE44FwEUUAbIQ0sxWllpC0nvGLY1EoNj1v8O_d5vKiDevvgUwx-OrMRCj20XEXqvlmHrq2JWFUiF-ZE1l61s9e3qpDKUILaDSdC7RjZYW60vxEgSoLudE99aIPw=s0-d-e1-ft

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Varanasi Pilgrimage 2023

 I always love visiting Varanasi, the oldest living City on earth. Varanasi has a history of  over 3000 years.

I took a flight from chennai and landed in Varanasi on Saturday around 11.30 pm. 

We took a cab to Ganges Grand hotel which is close to dashashwamedh ghat. After freshening up  we gathered together for a brief meditation before we headed out to the ghats. Suddenly it started raining and so we stayed longer with our meditation. Hari shared the beautiful story from Autobiography of a Yogi  where Ram Gopal Muzumdar is sent by Lahiri Mahasaya to witness the interaction between Babaji and his sister at Dashawamedh ghat..

After the rain let up we walked to dashashwamedh ghat for the boat ride and ganga arati. 

The ganga arati was beautiful and the entire ghat was packed with people who came to see the arati. They were on boats, on terraces and all around. The love and devotion was palpable as the people swayed to the rhythm of the enthralling singing and  arati.

We watched the arati from the boat and then we took a boat ride to manikarnika ghat. This ghat and the harishchandra ghat are both ghats were cremations happen. Manikarnika has a  fire that has been burning for thousands of years. The Dum Raja family owns this fire and he gives permission for people to use this fire to light the pyres. It is believed that people who are cremated here attain moksha. It's a sacred ghat. it's also one of the 51 Shakti peeths.

We saw bodies burning on the pyre as we walked back from close to this ghat, back to the hotel. There was this stark revelation at that point, of the impermanence of life. The alleys were narrow with many shops on the way. Banarasi sarees, banarasi paan, sweet shops and souvenir shops. Raj bhog is a sweet Shop we crossed which is supposed to be a popular one. 

We were quite hungry after all the walking and we had a good dinner before crashing for the night.A busy day awaited us the next day 

The next day we were ready very early at 5.30 am in the morning, to proceed to Trailanga Swami ashram which is on Panch ganga ghat. We travelled by boat and had a steep walk up from the ghat to the ashram. The ashram is very beautiful and has a large lingam that Trilanga Swami brought from the Ganges river. Below there is a room where he meditated and where it is said he attained mahasamadhi by entering the Ganges. They have now built a new hall below,  which has images of Trailanga Swami and Saradha Devi .

We were told stories of Trailanga Swami from Autobiography of a Yogi...the story where a man feeds him caustic lime pretending it was claberred milk and the story of the Varanasi police imprisoning him since he never wore clothes, only to find him walking on the roof of the building....

Trailanga Swami has been found lying hidden under water for days, sitting on hot rocks for long periods and going for periods of not eating at all or eating large quantities of food.

We meditated at the Trailanga Swami ashram. As we were returning I was tempted to have a dip in the Ganges at  the panch ganga ghat. The water was clear and had fewer people bathing  I had a quick dip. It was exhilarating!  We then came back for breakfast. 

After breakfast we proceeded to Satyalok, the family shrine of Lahiri Mahasaya's family. Here there are statues of Lahiri Mahasaya, his son Tinkori and grandson Satyacharan Lehiri. The ashes of Lahiri Mahasaya and his son and grandson or also in a shrine here. There is a beautiful statue of Babaji here. There was a large group of people meditating in front of Babaji's statue. We meditated at Satyalok for an hour or so.

The afternoon was free to visit temples or do other things. Some of us bought tickets for the rudra abhishek at Kasi Viswanath temple. We had to get these tickets at the temple registration office. We put our belongings in lockers as we were not allowed anything except a small purse. We followed a priest into the temple. We were seated around small lingas and we could offer milk, ghee, turmeric, jaggery, herbs, honey, curd, bhel leaves and other Pooja items to the linga. This was done to continuous mantras being chanted by the priests while we were chanting om namo shivaya. The chanting by the priests was hurried and mechanical, which in a way detracted  from the sacred vibrations of the exalted Kasi Viswanath temple. We then got to have darshan of Kasi Viswanathan and also do the Abhishek of the sacred linga. They also gave us flower and leaf malas at the temple. 

I then had some free time and decided to do some shopping on the busy crowded streets where people thronged the roads and cycle rickshaws, lorries and bikes skillfully weaved through them.....there seemed to be an unseen order in the utter chaos that prevailed. Later I spent some time just gazing at the mighty river Ganges. I felt her warmth, her love and compassion for all. I bought some peanuts to munch from a hawker and was touched by his honesty when he returned a few rupees that I had over paid. He refused to keep the change.

In the evening we proceeded as a group to Ananda moyi maa's ashram. We took autos to the ashram. We prayed, chanted and meditated there. It was a blessing to also be able to visit Maa's room which has her bed. 

We went back to the hotel and I was exhausted. Over dinner I had a good satsang with gurubhais and then it was bed time.

The next day was the last day of our stay in Varanasi. I woke up early as a group of us planned to take a dip in the ganges. It was Guru Purnima and an auspicious day.  I was expecting a huge crowd but luckily for us it wasn't very crowded. We were able to find a place that was less crowded and we had a dip. The water was warm and we really enjoyed our dip. 

We came back to the hotel and then after a quick breakfast we proceeded to Lahiri Mahasaya's house. Guru Purnima day is the only day in the year that the house is opened to the public. Luckily there wasn't such a big rush outside his home. As we waited our turn in the queue we chanted Lahiri Ji's name. As we went in we found that there was a Pooja in progress and we could not  enter the room to pay our respects. We paid our respects and prayers to Lahiri Mahasaya at the door of the room. I felt truly blessed to be at Lahiri Mahasaya's home on this sacred day of Guru Purnima. Every brick and piece of the house vibrated with his presence. I was humbled to be there. Our darshan was quick and I had more than 2 hours left before I left to the airport. So I decide to take a quick tour of some temples nearby. I visited the Brihaspaati temple, Sankat mochan Hanuman temple, a beautiful Durga temple, Tulsi manas, Gowri mata mandir and  gowri kedarnath temple. I was moved by the vibration at Gowri Kedarnath temple. I had a strange encounter with a beautiful old woman in this temple. She kept smiling and nodding as if she knew me. I went to her and touched her cheek. She just smiled. There was a warmth and fullness in my heart after meeting her. 

I returned to the hotel and it was time to leave. The roads around the hotel was closed and so we had to take a rickshaw to another point, from where we boarded our cab to the airport.

The pilgrimage left me feeling so happy and fulfilled. I thank  Lahiri Mahasaya, Lord Kasi Viswanath, Ananda Moyi Maa, Trailanga Swami and Maa Ganga  for giving me this pilgrimage. I also take back sweet memories of my satsang with gurubhais. My special thanks to Hari and Shivendra. Shivendra's chanting was hauntingly melodious. Hari was cool and calm at all times. My special thanks to gurubhais Seema Agarwal and her husband, Uma Lakhotia and her husband,  Lovleen and her mature son, Renu and her sweet daughter, Ezekiel and Rodrigo...they made my pilgrimage more enjoyable by their company. 

The success of any pilgrimage is how it transforms you. I felt changed in some indescribable way. I felt closer to Lahiri Mahasaya than I have ever felt before. The giant Shiva Linga at Trailanga Swami's ashram and the sweetness of Ananda moyi maa - the joy permeated saint, filled me with a sense of love and gratitude for this path. Thank you Master🙏🏽🌹Thank you Swamiji🌹Thank you Ananda🙏🏽

Link to pilgrimage  photos: https://photos.app.goo.gl/ZgekikgA7UJ9KoG26

Relationships

Oh people!!!!!

When I look back at the 6o years that I have lived on this planet, there are memories of numerous people with whom I have been close to, but either I moved on or the person moved on or life happened. This leaves me with just wisps of shadowy memories of them. The time I spent with those people gave me a lot of happiness at that time. It seemed like the friendship or bond would never end, but it did. The years just rolled by and at each stage there were these intense relationships or bonds, that either broke abruptly or just evaporated over the years. 

I remember  dear friends Punita and Kousalya from my school days  in St Anthonys, Mumbai. Punita was a Maharashtrian and she and I were among the shortest in class. So we sat together. Punita lived in a tiny house with many siblings, 2 sisters and 2 little brothers. We travelled to school together; we either walked to school or took the train. We stayed at Govandi and we had to alight at the next station chembur. Another close friend was Kousalya. Kousalya was a sindhi. Her uniforms were always well stitched and she always looked well "dressed", inspite of the constraints of a drab uniform. Kousalya was vivacious and always had a cute haircut, unlike us with our plaits. I also had couple of friends in my neighbourhood, they were Roshan, Kala and Kavitha. Out of these, Roshan was very close and we often spent time together after school. I stayed in touch with Roshan and she became my life long friend. But lost touch with Kala and Kavitha. 

Those days we had a 10+2 system in Mumbai, wherein the +2 had to be pursued in a 'junior college'. the junior college was usually part of a regular college.  After our 10th exams, I just lost touch with both Punitha and Kousalya. There was a frantic search for good junior colleges and with my 10th marks I was able to get admission in KJ Somaiya college, for my +2, where I had opted for physics, chemistry, maths and biology group. I ended up staying for just 1 year at KJ Somaiya. It was exciting to be in college after being in a girls convent. I instantly hit it off with a group of girls. +2 is also the time you are preparing for your college admissions, which for the ambitious ones was getting into medicine or engineering.... those days those seemed to be the only 2 alternatives if you are ambitious. As part of our preparation for the +2 exams I enrolled for coaching at Ramu tution classes at chembur, which is one station away from our home in Govandi. So I attended college till I think about 4 pm in the evening and the group of us landed at Chembur where they lived. We were so hungry at this time of day and headed straight to Gupta chats for delicious bhelpuri, panipuri, sev puri and dahi puri. After eating to our heart's fill, I headed for my tuitions and then reached home late in the evening after my tuitions. I really enjoyed this first year of my +2. It was at this time that my dad decided that I should join a better junior college, if I had to score good marks. Through his connections he secured admission for my 2nd year of +2, at SIES College in Ghatkopar. My friends were quite upset at losing a dear friend and tried convincing my parents that I stay at KJ Somaiya, which was to no avail That was the end of my fun one year friendship with those girls...I am ashamed to say that I don't even remember their names now. We did stay in touch for a while. I even attended the wedding of one them, which was done in traditional iyengar tradition. My year at SIES was tumultuous to say the least. I was upto my eyeballs with studying, college, tutions and adjusting to the academic rigor. I did not make any friends but only focused on my studies. I did fairly well in my +2 exams and then I had to choose between St Stephen for dentistry and two top pharmacy colleges. With my parent's guidance, pharmacy it was.

During my BPharm, my closest friend was Jyoti; though we had a larger circle with Raju Patkar, Girish and Nutan. Jyoti continued to be a close friend till my wedding. After that I attended her wedding too. With the lack of social media, 

Disease and Death

Recently the husband of a close friend of mine was diagnosed with gastric cancer which had metastised. Her neat and smoothly running life was suddenly shaken to its core with this disturbing news. It was like a giant hand just came and violently shook her boat of life. 
In my own life my aging mother's dementia and illnesses were extremely challenging to deal with. My brother who took care of her during the last years of her life, underwent severe mental and physical turmoil, as he dealt with the day to day caregiving which involved may emergency situations. At one point, she was being fed with a ryle tube, her oxygen had to be monitored, she developed fits and it was one emergency after another. I truly appreciate all the sacrifices that he and my sister in law had to make, to make my mother's last days as comfortable as possible.

Recently, a friend lost her sister, another friend lost her son and yet another friend lost her friend. All these deaths were unforeseen and without warning. 

Disease and death are very difficult for people to come to terms with, especially when it involves someone very close to them. Both these topics are also taboo in most normal conversations and shunned like the plague. Its only when people are placed in close proximity to these situations, that it hits them.

Paramhansa Yogananda says in "Whispers from Eternity", "Through Thy grace, I know that health and sickness, life and death, are but dreams. When I finish my dream-story of good dreams, and awaken behind the world-painted screen of delusion, I will behold Thee as the only Reality."

Paramhansa Yogananda says, The oft-dreaded natural death or change of the body is a deep sleep earned after a troubled existence or a life full of struggle and activity. Death is the pension earned after a long term of activity in the office of life. Death is cessation of pain."

However when a close family member or friend is involved, it is extremely unlikely to not feel the pain, the distress and the heartache. 

Here are some ways one can cope with the situation or provide solace to others who are going through such a situation. 

In case of a terminally ill patient, Ira Byock, author of Dying Well and a longtime hospice advocate, suggests that dying people and their families exchange these words with each other: I love you, I forgive you, Forgive me, Thank you, or Goodbye

Sometimes, dying people hold on to life because they sense that others aren’t ready to let them go. It is fine to tell loved ones that  it’s all right to let go when they're ready to do so. The assurance that their loved ones will be able to carry on—perhaps to help children grow or to fulfill another shared dream—may offer enormous relief.

When offering support to a bereaved one, one may be at a loss of words. One may not be sure what to say. Listening to them with an open mind, in a non judgmental manner may be helpful. 

Also remember that grief cannot be fixed. Listen with compassion if they open up. People are unique and grieve in their own way. If they do not want to talk, just sitting with them in silence is helpful too. Holding their hand or a hug is helpful too, if that is something they are ok with. 

If a friend or relative is having to take care of a sick family member, here are some things that you can say, that would help them:

1. I have been praying for..... How is everything going?
2. Let me know if I can help in any way. Please don't hesitate to ask. 
3. If you ever want to talk, I am here to listen. It can be hard for you handling this situation.
4. I can't imagine what you must be going through. My thoughts are with you and ......
5. Keep in touch. your family is strong and you will handle this situation. If you need help please call...

I would like to conclude by sharing powerful healing prayers and affirmations  of Paramhansa Yogananda.  You can repeat these prayers or affirmations and sincere, open hearted repetitions of these words, with firm faith and receptivity can bring peace and healing. 

O Heavenly Father, Thou art in this affected bodily part. It is well, for Thou art there.

 O Heavenly Father, Thou art perfect; I am made in Thine image: therefore I, too, am perfect.

O Spirit, Thou art in me, I am well. O Spirit, Thou art in (him/her.)(He/She) is well.

“I will, with my own will, which flows from the Divine Will, to be healthy, to be well, to be prosperous and spiritual, to be well, to be well.”

Mango Royale

 

INGREDIENTS

Yield: One 9½-inch pie

• ¾cups/170 grams unsalted butter (1½ stick)
• 2sleeves/269 grams graham crackers (about 9½ ounces)
• 2cups heavy whipping cream
• ½cup sweetened condensed milk
• 6 to 8soft ripe Manila mangoes (a.k.a. Ataulfo or Champagne) or 3 to 4 soft ripe large mangoes (Haden or Kent)
• 1 to 2tablespoons lime juice (optional)

• PREPARATION

  1. Step 1

     In a small pan, melt the butter over medium heat. Cook the butter, occasionally scraping the pan, until it turns deep golden brown, being careful not to let it burn. Remove from the heat and let cool.

  2. Step 2

     Pulse crackers in a food processor until finely ground. Pour into a medium bowl and add brown butter. Mix until well combined and texture is like wet sand. Let cool.

  3. Step 3

     Generously spray a 9½-inch glass pie plate with cooking spray. In a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, pour the cream into the mixing bowl and whip on medium speed. Slowly drizzle in sweetened condensed milk, then beat to stiff peaks. (Beating on medium takes longer, but helps build a stable structure.) Set aside and chill until ready to use.

  4. Step 4

     Cut cheeks from mangoes parallel to center pits. Scoop out flesh from cheeks with a spoon and slice flesh from pits. Coarsely purée fruit in a clean food processor. Measure 2 cups (save extra for other uses). If you like, add lime juice so purée tastes sweet-tart.

  5. Step 5

     Sprinkle about ⅔ of the graham crumbs into the pie plate. Using your fingers and the palm of your hand, press to create an even layer on the bottom and sides of the plate.

  6. Step 6

     Dollop half the whipped cream mixture on top, carefully spreading the cream evenly without stirring up crumbs. Spoon half of the mango purée on top and spread evenly.

  7. Step 7

     Sprinkle all but a few tablespoons of the remaining crumbs on top. Repeat cream and mango layers. Sprinkle top with remaining crumbs but don't smooth down.

  8. Step 8

     Loosely wrap dessert with plastic wrap and freeze until firm, about 8 hours, or overnight. Can be made ahead up to this point and kept frozen for 2 weeks.

  9. Step 9

     To serve, let thaw in fridge the night before serving, or let stand at room temperature for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Serve in wedges or scoops, making sure to scrape up the crumbs from the bottom of the plate

• 
  

Biryani recipe

 This is a recipe that has been passed down to me by my mother. She learnt it from the Hanifas, our family friends:

For 2-3 persons: scale up proportionately

Ingredients:

1 cup basmati rice - india gate classic preferred

2- 3 tbsp ghee

1 tbsp oil

Chicken or mutton - 200 g

1 - onion

1 - tomato

1-3 green chillies

1 small bunch coriander leaves - remove roots but keep the tender stem

1 small bunch mint leaves - pluck leaves alone

2 tsp - ginger garlic paste

3 pieces each- cinnamon, cardamom and cloves 

Procedure:

Wash the rice several times being careful not to break the grains. Wash several times to remove starch. Soak for 30 minutes.

Marinate the meat with some plain yoghurt for atleast an hour 

Grind the cinnamon, cardamom and cloves seperately. Grind the onions with green chillies seperately. Grind tomato with coriander and mint leaves seperately. 

Heat the oil and ghee. Add the onion mixture first. Fry till brown. Then add the spices powder and fry for few minutes. Add the ginger garlic paste and fry till the raw smell is gone.Then add the tomato mixture and fry for about 10 minutes or till the oil seperates. Add the marinated meat and keep the heat on high. Constantly mix together and then turn the heat to low after about 5- 10 minutes. 

Close the cooker and after the whistle lower the heat and cook for 15 minutes. Once the steam has gone, carefully open the cooker. (You can check this by lifting the weight.)

Now it's time to add water. You can measure the amount of gravy (without meat) and add enough water to make 2 cups of liquid. Wait till the mixture boils on high heat and then carefully take the rice and add to the water in the cooker. Lower the heat once the mixture is boiling (this is important).Taste the water and adjust the salt. Add a few drops of lemon juice.

Close the cooker lid and put the timer for 10 minutes.( Remember the heat is on low so there will not be any whistle). Don't open the cooker immediately. Wait for 10 minutes and then open the cooker. Gently lift the biryani from the sides of the cooker with a flat dosa type handle. Be careful not to mix too much. Leave it with the lid open for 10 minutes. 

Ta da! Biryani is ready!

Puteaux - May 12- 16

 We returned from warm Marseille of about 24° to 15° at Puteaux. It was cold. We were shocked to find that the water flooding had made the wooden planks on the floor to swell and rise in many places. Purni and Flo had to get the house ready for the party next day. Purni had invited her friends, Amelie, Rachel and her family, Cesar and his girl friend and Carem. 

We had gifts for all of them, scarves, alcohol, Himalaya products. There was a lot of food. Paneer with capsicum and onion by Flo, butter chicken and veg pulao by Purni. I made chicken biryani and salmon fish fry. We made pachadi. There was ready made samosa, chicken rolls. Also ready made parotta. 

We had a nice get-together. They all made an effort to talk in English with us. The kids of Rachel were very well behaved. The French bizu is back. They all enjoyed the food 

There was a lot of cleaning up and storing of the loads of leftover food.

The next day was a relaxed day with shopping for our chennai trip back. We packed our bags, trying to make sure they were not over the weight of 23 kg each and 12 kg hand luggage. We had a lot of chocolates and cheese in our luggage. 

We had a dinner of melted cheese on vegetables and meat in the Raclette machine.

The last day in France, May 15 we relaxed and weighed our bags. We were maxed out on the weight of our bags. 

I got ready for the Jim Gaffigan show. It was very cold and we wore layers of warm clothing to travel to Paris for the show. When we reached there we were in for a disappointment...for some reason the show had been preponed and we had missed the show.😞

Flo resolutely decided to watch Gaffigan's shows on Netflix and YouTube and that is what we all did that evening. Well, the evening turned out to be not that bad, with all of us enjoying Gaffigan's comedy.

It was an early flight the next morning and we started off to the airport.

The trip to France was over all too soon.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/F8ASMujGU53kHcn5A

May 8 - 12 Marseille

 Trying not to worry about the state of the wooden flooring when we come back we set out very early by metro to catch the train to Marseille

French Riviera: Marseille-Cannes-Nice-Monaco

We arrived in Marseille after about 3.5 hours. It was a fast train and we came to the southern part of France. Marseille is part of the exotic cities around the Mediterranean.

We checked into the NHow hotel. We had dinner at a sea side restaurant. The fish was delicious. The salad oil with chilli was really good.

The next day we went to notre dame de la garde..... Notre-Dame de la Garde (literally: Our Lady of the Guard), known to local citizens as la Bonne Mère (French for 'the Good Mother'), is a Catholic basilica in Marseille, France, and the city's best-known symbol. The site of a popular Assumption Day pilgrimage, it was^[when?] the most visited site in Marseille.^[1] It was built on the foundations of an ancient fort at the highest natural point in Marseille, a 149 m (489 ft) limestone outcropping on the south side of the Old Port of Marseille.

It was a steep climb on steps to the church. The view from the top was 360° and indeed spectacular. Flo has a fear of heights and so was in the cafe. The tall statue of Bonne Mere Mother Mary is 37 feet tall. There were many paintings of ships at sea and boat miniatures hung in strings from the ceiling. Probably those are remnants of the monitoring station that used to exist there before it became a Basilica. There are many paintings of sick people and sailors at sea being saved by Bonne Mere.

There was a cafe and a souvenir shop too...

We then walked down and visited the soap museum - musee du savon.

We saw ancient machinary used for soap making and also we were explained the current machinery and methods used to make soap. Oil is mixed with soda in a machine and allowed to rest till all the soda is absorbed. Then it is powdered in another machine and mixed along with perfume, color, etc. Then this goes into another machine where it's is warmed and pressed out into various shapes. This long strip is cut into bars. There was a fun place where there were bars of soaps with the fragrance to be guessed.  

Since we paid 2.5 euros each we were each  allowed to choose for free a 100g bar of soap from the adjacent shop - Lacorne.

We walked around the port area and sat there for a while. There were many tourists around the port. 

We then walked to the Cathedral de la Major. The first stone of ‘La Major’ was laid on September 26, 1852 by Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte, on the plans of Léon Vaudoyer.

It was a little over forty years later, on November 30, 1893, that the Cathedral of Sainte-Marie-Majeure was completed. 

The statues of the saints Luc, Matthew, Mark, John and Veronica (with Jesus) were stunningly beautiful. The carving was life like especially visible in the arms, legs, fingers and the folds of the clothes.

The next day on May 10 we left for the boat ride to the Island of Frioul. Since it was very windy the boat did not stop at the Chateu d'Il. Apparently prisoners were kept in the chateau d'Il in the 1800s. The novel by Dumas "Count of Monte Cristo" is set in this place...where the hero is imprisoned 

The boat ride was fast and rocky. We reached the Island of Frioule. It was even more cold windy on the island. The island was rocky. We walked around the island till we reached a little rocky beach. We spent a couple of hours at this beach. The water was cold so both Purni and Flo did not bathe in the water. As we watched a few ventured into the water but got out quite fast. Many, including Flo, were sun bathing. After a few hours we caught the ferry back to the port. Ravi saw the little bus train to Notre damme and it was only 5 pm, so we both took the little train. We wound through Marseille, listening to the commentary as we viewed the Catalan beach, and other sights of Marseille. Marseille has the largest French port.

I found that Marseille is known for a dish called Boullabase, a saffron flavoured fish soup with fish inside. Purni found a restaurant that is known to serve an authentic Boullabase and we went there for dinner. The Boullabase turned out to be a large bowl of a soup that looked like a cutoo, with 5 types of fish and also mussels in the soup. It tasted fine with some salt and pepper but was too much for one person. It was accompanied by mayonnaise, small toasts and bread. Since no one else liked the dish there was a lot of the Boullabase left over.

It was a very good day with a lot of sun, wind, and adventurous food.

 

May 11 the next day was my father's death anniversary. The 37th death anniversary. Here is a website i created that is a tribute to him: http://skumarasundaram.unaux.com/

We relaxed for half a day and then went in the evening on the giant wheel and had an Indian dinner of biryani, naan, etc. Cheese or fromage naan which is a speciality in France which Flo ordered. 

The next day we started on our train back to Paris 

https://photos.app.goo.gl/NKvQA1utRomgrDhm6

May 5 - 7 Limoges

 We started early morning at 8.30 am to catch the train to Limoges. We were in 1st class compartments. There was an annoying lady in the compartment. She was objecting to a dog and to Ravi's loud talking on the phone. We had purchased some salads,bread and ham and we ate that on the train. We boarded at 10 am and reached Limoges at about 2 pm. We were served some brioce which is a type of cake. For dinner there was a sumptuous spread of cauliflower soup, fish, vegetables, cheese, coconut flan without sugar, coffee.

Every meal was so well cooked and delicious. There was a egg mimosa where eggs were boiled, yolk removed, the white filled with home made mayonnaise and the yolk was powdered by hand and spread on the whites. Mimosa is a delicate flower and the eggs were. delicate and delicious. There was chicken in a creamy sauce, cooked greens, mushrooms; the next day there was a delicious dish made of big chunks of radish, carrots, zucchini, tomatoes without skin, and whole  onion pierced with cardamom. Flavored with Herbs like thyme, rosemary, chives from the garden....

We had taken some gifts like alcohol, fruits, material, scarves for Purni's inlaws and David and Noami.

They also gave us some expensive wine, teas...

Michelle and Jean Claude work a lot in the garden. They have an apple tree, pear trees, cherry tree... They had salad leaves, lot of potato plants, cabbage and cauliflower growing in their garden.

Jean is 80 and he picked us up and dropped us back at the railway station. Though he had prostrate cancer and underwent chemotherapy he has a healthy lifestyle 

We visited the St Etienne church in Limoge that took 600 years to build. It's a catholic church. It had solid pillars and stained glass. It was a beautiful church with a beautiful garden at the back.

We visited a thrift store in Limoges which has genuinely cheap stuff. We bought a number of things there and wished we could buy more.

The colony where Michelle and Jean have their house has a small private woods. We had a walk in the woods and the area which has beautiful houses with picturesque gardens.

It was a wonderful stay at Limoges with good company, good food and good stay. The  weather was warm and good as well.

On the day we were to leave Limoges Florent gets a call that a pipe broke in their house in Puteaux resulting in flooding. The building authorities managed to open the house and suck out the water. Both Purni and Flo were worried 

We said our good byes and started from Limoges. On the way back we had a train to Putier and were to catch our train to Paris from Putier. But there was a mishap. The train had a technical glitch and stopped on the way. After a long wait the railway authorities arranged buses to Putier and since almost everyone on the train were heading to Paris and  had missed their connecting train, the sncl railway authorities arranged a special train for us from Putier and also free meals. 

It was quiet a turn of events, especially on top of the flooding of the apartment. We reached Paris by about 10.30 pm and booked an uber to Puteaux, reaching around 11 pm. 

It was with trepidation that we entered the flat. The floor of the hall and saloon was damp and the wooden tiles were starting to puff up. 

We were leaving the next day to Marseilles so we had no time. Purni folded clothes that were drying and we packed our bags for Marseilles. 

It was probably one of the worst days for Purni and Flo but we just went with the flow.